How Facetime is Saving our Relationship

Dating in medical school is not easy. But you probably already knew that. Medical students are constantly busy, working and tired. There have been many times already in the past 6 months when I fell asleep talking to Elaine on the phone. That used to never happen.

And then we both got the iPhone 4. Why is this so clutch? Because it has Facetime so she can now make sure that I keep my eyes open when we’re talking!

Just to provide you with a quick background, Elaine and I have been dating for 22 months. We’ve been long distance for most of our relationship. I’m in Boston and she’s in New York. I’m in medical school and she’s working as an investment banker. Now if you knew anything about these two fields, you would be thinking to yourself that this is the perfect recipe for never seeing each other. On average we talk everyday at 2am. More often than not, she’s still at work. And now you know why I’m featured in

Despite these challenges, we try to make it work. We visit each other at least once a month. We email and text each other throughout the day. And now we have Facetime so we can “see” each other more regularly (she doesn’t get gtalk or skype at work). In the beginning, I admit, it was tough. But since then it has gotten better as I’ve become more settled and as she learns more about what it’s like here.

In fact we both agree that long distance, in actuality, has been a blessing in disguise. It has allowed us the freedom not only to grow independently of each other but also to challenge each other to become better people. There’s a recent article in the New York Times about sustainable love that talks about how a relationship is built upon building each other up.

“People have a fundamental motivation to improve the self and add to who they are as a person…If your partner is helping you become a better person, you become happier and more satisfied in the relationship.”

I think Elaine has been great at doing this, and it all starts with good communication.

We are just about halfway through first year of medical school. In another 6 months Elaine and I will no longer be long distance. She will be done with her job and will be moving to Boston to start a new job. Being in the same city will present its own set of challenges. Then again, the odds have always been against us ever since we started dating. But when something or someone is worth it, you always find a way.

One Response to “How Facetime is Saving our Relationship”
  1. Stuart says:

    A really great piece of writing with superb insight. Thanks for sharing

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